Word Play

Yesterday, our new friend Antonio called and spoke with Christopher, he asked if we wanted to go to Almeria for dinner…pizza or something. Knowing I’m up for any adventure, Christopher said “Sure!” for the both of us. Antonio said to come by their place (the lovely house on the hill that he shares with his pareja Manuel y perro “Moss”) prior to heading out.
At the appointed time we walked up the hill and we were invited in for a lovely Jerez before going to dinner. When we were offered a second Jerez, Christopher asked if we should get going since we had the 40 minute drive into Almeria. After a puzzled look, Antonio laughed and said..”Almeria? We’re not going to Almeria.”
It turns out that he asked us if we wanted to go….” a Maria”.
Maria’s, as we soon found out, is a Las Negras institution. Its a little hole-in-the-wall place that makes fabulous pizza!

That little misunderstanding (it was over the phone, after all) lead to an evening of word play coming from all sides…everything from English and Spanish tongue twisters to synonyms and the translation of phrases to, what else?, new cuss words!
Let’s start with this simple example of what we talked about ….
the word Pura (a woman’s name), the word porro (a joint/MaryJane/reefer/ganja) and the word porra (a club). All of them sound very much alike and when used together in a sentence, a non native Spanish speaker really has to pay attention to understand what’s being
said….Pura uso el porro como una porra….or, Pura used the joint as a club. Makes no sense unless it was a REALLY big joint (it probably happened somewhere in Holland) but you get the idea.

At this point Christopher moved on with that fun tongue twister-in English…I’m not a pheasant plucker; I’m a pheasant plucker’s son. I’m only a pheasant plucker ‘til the pheasant plucker comes.

After ONE try, Antonio, in his very, very, very good English managed to nail it!
It was then time to hear one in Spanish…..Tres tristes tigres comian trigo en un trigal. (Three sad tigers eat wheat in a wheat field) Not so bad, even doable for a newbie like me.
Of course we came back with “Suzy sells sea shells…” and “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck…” Now you realize, all of this came after a few beers and/or copas de vino and while eating Maria’s incredible pizza….we were a touch silly…..

We did move on to expletives in both languages (of course) and eventually I got them to translate a phrase for me. I could have done this on my own, during the light of day, but it is much more fun with friends. I’m sure most of you have heard me say (when describing how large the gay community is in Hudson)….”Throw a stone, hit a gay guy.” Well in Spanish this is said as such…”Lanzo una piedra y golpeo un gay.” It doesn’t have the same effect in Spanish (at least to me) as it does in English but if said along with my brother’s phrase “Mira! No me conoces” (Look! You don’t even know me”) it would certainly ward off any would-be attackers!

The guys know Maria pretty well (she is a Las Negras institution after all), her place is seriously small-like one fourth the size of Lick-and she is always smiling from behind the counter, pizza dough in her hands or not. At any given moment she will pull out shot glasses and pour vodka/limoncello or vodka/caramel shots for the few smiling faces in front of her. She is fabulous! After talking Spanglish to her (with the help of Antonio) I believe I have landed myself a job, working gratis, in exchange for Spanish lessons! Not just Spanish lessons but lessons in Andaluz! (the local dialect), plus I’m hoping for all of the pizza and shots I want. I start on Thursday, probably peeling tomatoes…...