Working with Ramon

Last Friday I met Ramon for one of our intercambios. I pulled up to his workplace at the appointed time, parked and jumped into his waiting car. As we pulled away he told me we had a lot of driving to do that day…approx 300 km... we were off to see a farmer north of Campohermoso.
As we drove along the highway that leads north, with each of us doing our best to speak our new second language, Ramon made sure to point out interesting places along the way.
The one place that caught my eye and made me laugh was a place called Oasys (AKA Mini Hollywood). This is one of three American Wild West theme parks here in Almeria province that have been used as the backdrop for scenes in more than 100 famous films (sometimes labeled as “spaghetti” westerns) including A Fistful of Dollars, The Magnificent Seven and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
When not being used as a movie set, Mini Hollywood stages daily bank hold-ups and shootouts on its main street; complete with a general store, a saloon and tumbleweeds. Mini Hollywood also has a rather large zoo and of course, no theme park would be complete without a water feature (read… pool).

Since Ramon and I were “working”, we did not have time to do more than a drive-by so we headed off down the highway taking in the absolutely incredible landscape along the way. The topography in this area is gorgeous! Even though we were only a little further inland from Las Negras, the hills near these theme parks seemed much drier, barren and jagged though every bit as beautiful.
After driving north for a number of miles, we ventured off the highway into the softly rolling landscape that lined the more narrow country roads. The entire area was still surrounded by the rugged mountains in the distance and the land that looked like rocky, dry, scrub land along the highway changed into cultivated groves of olive trees. The terroire in this area is by no means the loamy, fertile farm land we know in the north eastern US, but more similar to stony gravel.
From the paved country road we turned onto a dirt lane which eventually emptied out onto a (now dry) rambla. This long lane/rambla was actually the drive leading to the home of the farmer who was our first appointment. Should that rambla run water in rainy weather, they would certainly have to find another way home!
After we stopped the car at the farmhouse (a building that looked to be a combination ancient, stone fortress with newer stucco additions) and skirted around the numerous dogs that eyed us cautiously, Ramon told me I was about to see “typical” Spain. Upon meeting the farmer and seeing inside one of the other two buildings on the property, what I believe Ramon meant to say was “traditional” Spain……

Set down the hill and across the driveway from the rambling house was a large outbuilding with walls of concrete and inside this building we found the farmer and his family finishing up their midday meal. Near an open hearth, complete with burning coals that filled the room with the smell of wood smoke, there was a knee high table on which was centered a very large, paella pan that held the remnants from almuerzo (lunch) and seated around this table were a few, very content adults.
The floor of the building was uneven concrete and a ceiling of rustic, round timbers held up the metal roofing. Off to the side, on a water splashed, wooden cart with large, rust colored, iron wheels there was a blue plastic washtub filled with wash water.
Ramon obviously knew these people very well because he was warmly greeted by an old woman who I guessed was the farmer’s mother. She had to be in her 80’s, about four and a half feet tall and nearly as wide with hands that had worked a lifetime of manual labor and a very expressive face that had seen years of sunny landscapes. She wore a kerchief tied under her chin, a black dress and an apron tied at the waist and she seemed to be the one in charge, if not of the farm itself then definitely of this building which was her kitchen. The most interesting part of what I saw in front of me?.......In the dim light at the back of the room was an enormous hog that had been butchered, gutted, butterflied and strung up from the rafters by its back legs. It was truly the biggest pig I had ever seen, I would guess in the neighborhood of over four hundred pounds. From the tips of its back toes (touching the rafters) to the tip of its front toes (hanging just above the washtub placed under its nose to catch the blood) it had to be eight or nine feet in length!

At that point I knew Ramon had meant to say “traditional” Spain not “typical” Spain.

The farmer eventually hopped in Ramon’s car and we headed off to see his latest project; a very large greenhouse that needed to be completely revamped. But more interesting then that was the farm itself, seven million sq meters (approx. 1700 acres) of rugged, arid land. When one sees this part of the world you cannot imagine any plant or animal living here, especially people. There are no large wild trees and seemingly no water. There are a few birds flying about, as well as partridge on the ground and the occasional, elusive wild boar, but without trees for cover there are very, very few creatures to speak of. This landscape-although beautiful-seems very inhospitable; yet this farmer, along with many others in this region, and those countless generations that preceded him, manages to make a living and provide for his family. Along with a flock of sheep (wandering somewhere out on the millions of square meters) this family tended 17 acres of olive groves and 10 acres of almonds and, from the sound of it they would soon to venture into the world of invernaderos.
It is truly remarkable!

Intercambios y Invernaderos

Most of you know that I am learning Spanish with the help of a lovely lady named Juana. In addition to our Monday evening meetings (with Friederike and Ana) I get together with Juana at least one other time a week for a more intensive lesson. During our weekly meetings Juana (whose first language is of course, Spanish) leads the rest of us who are at different levels within the language. In turn, we help Juana with her English-which is pretty darn good. This exchange of language skills is called an intercambio.
In addition to this group of ladies I am also learning Spanish from my new buddy Ramon. (Of course all of these people have come into our lives through Tom-thank you Tom!)

Ramon works in the tomato/greenhouse/agricultural industry with Antonia (the tomato heiress). He is a salesman and his job, as he tells me, is to make calls on various people in the industry; from greenhouse owners to the executives who run the companies that package and ship the produce all around Europe. Ramon and I have our meetings on weekday mornings while he is working so I get the pleasure of riding along to his appointments…..meeting the farmers and industry execs and seeing how this industry works; all the while we are having our own intercambio.

Ramon knows everybody! As we travel through the dusty back roads, between the many invernaderos (greenhouses) of the province or stop for a quick coffee at one of the cafes in town, many a friendly hand is raised in his direction. Through association, people in Campohermoso (the town just north of Las Negras where Ramon works) know me now too! (ok…...maybe just a little, but I’m just sayin’!)

Anyway, these invernaderos that Ramon and I visit are fascinating! I have learned that the tomato plants live in the greenhouses for about a year. Each plant has a single trunk that is split into two main stems and by the time the plant is 6 months old each stem is 10 feet in length. These stems are loaded with clusters of tomatoes and they need support as they continue to grow; each stem is individually twisted around a single piece of plastic twine that is suspended from a wire that runs above.
I’m really not sure how much each invernadero produces, and each one is a different size but…these greenhouses go on forever. Even though I have only seen inside the greenhouses that have tomatoes and berenjenas (eggplants), there are many that grow cucumbers, melons and peppers. An enormous economy has been developed in this part of the country that was once very impoverished.

As I think I said in an earlier email, Almeria grows 90% of the tomatoes that are consumed in the European Union. These greenhouses are everywhere.
To give you an idea of just how many…..Our friend Friederike said she heard an interview with a German astronaut. When asked what he saw on the surface of the earth--from his spaceship--he said…The Great Wall of China and the greenhouses of Almeria.

It’s just crazy. And it's a lot of ratatouille!

Word Play

Yesterday, our new friend Antonio called and spoke with Christopher, he asked if we wanted to go to Almeria for dinner…pizza or something. Knowing I’m up for any adventure, Christopher said “Sure!” for the both of us. Antonio said to come by their place (the lovely house on the hill that he shares with his pareja Manuel y perro “Moss”) prior to heading out.
At the appointed time we walked up the hill and we were invited in for a lovely Jerez before going to dinner. When we were offered a second Jerez, Christopher asked if we should get going since we had the 40 minute drive into Almeria. After a puzzled look, Antonio laughed and said..”Almeria? We’re not going to Almeria.”
It turns out that he asked us if we wanted to go….” a Maria”.
Maria’s, as we soon found out, is a Las Negras institution. Its a little hole-in-the-wall place that makes fabulous pizza!

That little misunderstanding (it was over the phone, after all) lead to an evening of word play coming from all sides…everything from English and Spanish tongue twisters to synonyms and the translation of phrases to, what else?, new cuss words!
Let’s start with this simple example of what we talked about ….
the word Pura (a woman’s name), the word porro (a joint/MaryJane/reefer/ganja) and the word porra (a club). All of them sound very much alike and when used together in a sentence, a non native Spanish speaker really has to pay attention to understand what’s being
said….Pura uso el porro como una porra….or, Pura used the joint as a club. Makes no sense unless it was a REALLY big joint (it probably happened somewhere in Holland) but you get the idea.

At this point Christopher moved on with that fun tongue twister-in English…I’m not a pheasant plucker; I’m a pheasant plucker’s son. I’m only a pheasant plucker ‘til the pheasant plucker comes.

After ONE try, Antonio, in his very, very, very good English managed to nail it!
It was then time to hear one in Spanish…..Tres tristes tigres comian trigo en un trigal. (Three sad tigers eat wheat in a wheat field) Not so bad, even doable for a newbie like me.
Of course we came back with “Suzy sells sea shells…” and “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck…” Now you realize, all of this came after a few beers and/or copas de vino and while eating Maria’s incredible pizza….we were a touch silly…..

We did move on to expletives in both languages (of course) and eventually I got them to translate a phrase for me. I could have done this on my own, during the light of day, but it is much more fun with friends. I’m sure most of you have heard me say (when describing how large the gay community is in Hudson)….”Throw a stone, hit a gay guy.” Well in Spanish this is said as such…”Lanzo una piedra y golpeo un gay.” It doesn’t have the same effect in Spanish (at least to me) as it does in English but if said along with my brother’s phrase “Mira! No me conoces” (Look! You don’t even know me”) it would certainly ward off any would-be attackers!

The guys know Maria pretty well (she is a Las Negras institution after all), her place is seriously small-like one fourth the size of Lick-and she is always smiling from behind the counter, pizza dough in her hands or not. At any given moment she will pull out shot glasses and pour vodka/limoncello or vodka/caramel shots for the few smiling faces in front of her. She is fabulous! After talking Spanglish to her (with the help of Antonio) I believe I have landed myself a job, working gratis, in exchange for Spanish lessons! Not just Spanish lessons but lessons in Andaluz! (the local dialect), plus I’m hoping for all of the pizza and shots I want. I start on Thursday, probably peeling tomatoes…...

Churros y Chocolate!

Most of you know that I have a serious weakness for chocolate, I need to have a little of it every day.

I had heard about Spain’s traditional churros y chocolate but I really wasn’t sure what it was all about…until the other night.

While we were walking the streets of Almeria, trying to get closer to the parade route, we passed a sidewalk café where we noticed people eating these fabulous things! I could have stopped to eat them right then but we really wanted to get a space along the route plus, the thought of "drinking" (you'll understand what I mean in a minute)the chocolate before having tapas wasn’t all that appealing. We vowed to find the café again before leaving town, and we did.

The churros are basically fried dough, sometimes they are made with potatoes and sometimes not. Most times they have the ridges but sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’re served with sugar or cinnamon and sugar but most times not. Sometimes they are served in a long coil that you break apart but most times they’re about four inches long. The ones we were served happened to be room temperature, personally I think they would have been better piping hot.
The chocolate part of the equation (first introduced to Europe by the Spanish conquistador Cortez in the early 16th c.- I knew there was another reason to love Spain!) is actually a small cup of dark, rich hot chocolate, more similar to warm pudding then the hot chocolate we’re used to in the states. I have heard it said the churro should be able to stand up in the chocolate and for the most part, it does!

Good anytime of the day or night!

January 5th, The King's Parade

Sus Majestades los Reyes de Oriente recorren hoy Almeria! read today’s newspaper.
(Their Majesties the Kings of the East travel through Almeria today!)

Last night we drove into Almeria (40 min from here) so we could partake in this cultural experience. Most of you know I want nothing to do with large crowds of pedestrians but this was a cultural event and it needed to be seen. We were told it was going to be a mob scene and everyone was right although, I have to say…we had a lot of fun.

As I mentioned in an earlier posting, the Spaniards don’t really celebrate December 25, although children do tend to get a gift that day (notice how I said “a” gift). Their real celebration for Christmas is the arrival of the three wise men (Melchior, Caspar and Balthasar) on the night of January 5th (think 12 days of Christmas). This is the night children put out their shoes with the hopes of it being filled with a few goodies such as oranges and sweets (I hear they also receive a few gifts).
As in most cities in Spain, January 5th is commemorated with the three wise men being escorted through town on large, illuminated floats. In Almeria, along with the king’s floats, there were other, more commercial ones featuring Snow White, Shrek and the national postal service (a sponsor?). Riding each of the floats were children whose job it was to throw candy into the crowds, it was kind of like Mardi Gras! We found ourselves joining in with the crowd, trying to get those kids to throw candy in our direction.


The parade also featured live elephants, camels and raptors as well as bands (for the musical aspect), dancers and a few rather esoteric numbers including a man on

stilts, wearing a giant, inflated, tiered and illuminated white “skirt”…. a bit like Bride of the Michelin Man!....as well as a giant jellyfish and a woman riding a fork lift, dressed as Glenda the Good Witch who I think was supposed to represent the
North Star.

All of these characters were there to escort the kings along their route.
Almeria’s procession started at La Alcazaba, the 10th century castle that sits high above the city, and on to the cathedral (from the 16th century, which is now the seat of the Episcopal Church) for a welcoming; it continued to wind its way through three of the city’s main streets before ending at the top of la rambla by 10 or 11pm. Since the next day is a national holiday and because Spaniards maintain late evenings, the streets were filled with happy people and smiling children (I’m serious, we saw no temper tantrums and heard no cross words). It was really a good time.

The best part, you ask?......Besides being fortunate enough to snatch a couple of pieces of candy, we hit the tapas bars right after the event and just before heading home, I had my first churros y chocolat.
I LOVE SPAIN!


(Sorry about the quality of the photos, it was dark after all. Be sure to expand them for a better view)

I Made an Observation Today.....

....Las Negras is a very quiet place…normally.

As Daisy and I went for another long walk up the rambla, I realized the only thing I could hear were a few birds and the crunch of the fine, dry riverbed gravel under my feet (and Daisy dashing through the shrubbery)…that’s all, seriously. That’s when it occurred to me the only thing one hears in Las Negras are the birds.

There are, however, the occasional, jolting breaks in the silence which include:

1) The Propane Delivery Guy…. Cook tops, gas grills and those enormous paella burners all run on propane and every home has these portable, knee high, orange propane tanks that need to be refilled. There is a company that comes to town to refill them and their way of letting you know they’re here is to drive through the

neighborhood beeping the horn along the way! (or, as my brother Mark says of horn beeping.…it’s the Puerto Rican cell phone method!) They do this on Thursdays and they do this on every street in Las Negras…it seems to go on forever. You can always tell where the truck is and how much time you have to drag the tanks to curbside for the refill. I guess it beats having to make an appointment.

2) The Wind…..We have had our share of windy days here, and I’m not talking windy, I’m talking WINDY! Many times I thought we were going to blow away and I was thankful that all of the houses here are made of concrete, it’s that bad. Surprisingly there have not been any downed trees although one of the palm trees in the center circle of town has been decapitated by the wind…the trunk is till rooted but the portion of the trunk that holds the beautiful fronds is now laying by its side.

3) The Vegetable Delivery Guy…..sounds lovely and old world and quaint, doesn’t it? It is except……he makes his deliveries on a motor bike; a motor bike with no muffler that seems to have come from a communist bloc tag sale. It you’ve ever seen photos of communist era peasants taking produce (or chickens) to market, or just

taking their loved ones for a Sunday outing (piled five and six to a bike), this is what this man reminds me of. He is adorable but that motor bike just ruins it. Fresh veggies just don’t seem as fresh when delivered from the back of a loud bike that also spews clouds of black smoke. We have also heard that he will deliver eggs from his hens but sometimes, when the hens aren’t laying or maybe when he’s promised more than the hens can accomplish, he’ll buy eggs from the store and deliver them as if they were his own. The problem with that is two-fold, first it’s dishonest and you see, here in Spain, store purchased eggs have an ink stamp on every egg (I assume it’s to tell you the freshness) and this farmer’s eggs sometimes come with that ink stamp. He says his hens make them that way…whatever!

And finally……
4) That F***ing Dog Across the Street! It rarely shuts up! The sun does not come over the mountain until 8 every morning which makes mornings very conducive to sleeping in. But, this dog starts barking before the sun rises, he is Las Negras’s alarm clock (this is a very small town and noises echo through the little canyon). He’s a beautiful shepherd type dog, almost like a Belgian Trevuren but he has this

neurosis about guarding his property. I can understand where he’s coming from but I can’t understand the owner’s lack of respect for the rest of town. The bark is a monosyllabic (can one even describe a bark that way?) sound that is repeated, non-stop, without a breath until whatever is prompting him disappears from his sight….a person walking the street, a car driving by, etc. Here’s the best part, the property is on a corner, actually on a bend so he patrols three sides of the property; triple our listening pleasure! I have seriously considered asking Tony “Manolo” Soprano to take the dog out (if you know what I mean).

Other than those breaks in the tranquility, town is very quiet. There is no road through Las Negras so the only traffic (which comes into town on the other side of the mountain from the house) is destined to be here; it’s the off season with only 200 people in town and the town in a protected park which means there is minimal construction which is not really happening at the moment, maybe due to the time of year or the economy or both.





It’s just the birds……. and in the morning, if the air is still and the sea is a little rough, we can hear the waves crashing on shore.

It’s pretty fabulous.

New Year's Eve in Spain

First I want to say we have moved right into Tom and Carlos’ life. Their friends do not even miss them!
Last night we were invited to a neighbor’s house for the New Year’s feast. We originally were told there would be 30 people and then the number was reduced to 15 and when we showed up (Christopher ready to speak Spanish all night and me ready to listen and smile when cued) there were only six other people there, of which we knew five. Maybe we were originally told there would be six and through our untrained ear we heard 30 but it didn’t matter. The evening (arriving at 9:30 with dinner starting at 10:30) ended up being an intimate family get-together plus us two boys from Estados Unidos; Manolo (the Tony Soprano of Las Negras) and his lovely wife Pilar where our hosts.


Our sources told us the Sopranos (real name changed to protect the innocent) could cook and we were not disappointed. When we arrived, we saw their kitchen counter had been taken over by a paella pan that was larger than a tire on a car (but they were not making paella). In the pan was an amazing array of seafood; cod, shrimp, calamari from Las Negras, mussels, and the tiniest clams you’ve ever seen-with the shell they were no larger than your thumb nail. Everything had been cooked individually but they were now simmering together in a broth; there was enough to feed twenty people!
That was only the first course-well, actually the second; the first course consisted of various plates of charcuterie, fois gras and cheese. The final course was another enormous pan filled with oven roasted potatoes and kid goat or lamb…we still aren’t sure. It really doesn’t matter because it was delicious! Fall-off-the-bone and melt-in-your-mouth yet with a crispy skin- it was truly incredible.


We had a little dessert, drank a lot of wine, even more cava and finally some whiskey!... and rang in the New Year with the Spanish tradition of popping a grape in your mouth for each gong of the midnight bell (it’s a harrowing experience!). We were stuffed!
The evening was a ton of fun and our gracious hosts were very patient with my inability to speak to them (thank god Christopher could carry the conversation for the two of us). During the meal I sat next to Manolo and Pilar’s ten year old son Mario. He’s an adorable, smart little guy who takes English class in school. As hard as I tried he wouldn’t speak more than a word or two of English with me-I had a feeling he could do more but he was playing a bit shy. We did teach each other the word for “cork” but as I look it up today I think he lead me astray…..

The entire party moved to “downtown” Las Negras (two blocks away) where we joined what had to be the entire town, spread out in a couple of adjoining bars, one being Antonia’s (she’s the tomato heiress). Even though we planned for a late night (by taking a three hour nap that rainy afternoon) we could not keep up with the Spaniards. We called it quits at three am and I’m sure they played on until at least six!

Another wonderful thing about last night….that blue moon everyone was talking about! On our walk to dinner and then back from the fiestas in town we had clear skies that were dotted with a few, small, swiftly moving, fluffy clouds. We could see Orion’s belt and since the moon was so intense, our shadows followed us everywhere……it also reflected like diamonds off the Mediterranean.

I have told you we can see the sea from here, haven’t I?

All in all a very memorable New Year’s Eve! We did miss our Hudson tradition but we will pick that up again next year.